BIG Questions Institute UpdateApril 2, 2026, No. 198 (Read Online) Don’t Let Your Strategy Sound Like an April Fool’s PrankI love a good April Fool’s Day joke, so when the Woodleigh School in Victoria, Australia, a progressive school I’ve long admired, posted “Woodleigh to Pilot ‘Screen Sanity’ Risk-Mitigation Measure After Playground Injury Surge” on April 1, I was hooked.T As I read the satire, something else besides the jokes started sinking in. I could see “strategery” language that is taking over many school’s strategic plans - and they aren’t doing it to be funny. Busy administrators outsource the writing and thinking to AI – resulting in eloquent word salads that few understand or feel emotionally connected to. Look at the following excerpts from the Woodleigh prank. Notice how language can start off sounding smart (using words like data, operational calm, capacity, international evidence, meta-analysis, pragmatic and child-centered, pilot indicators…). It holds grains of truth, but descends into corporate double-speak – a veil behind which real-life and logic are obscured – and ends up sounding pretty ridiculous. “The data is clear,” said Head of Senior Campus Staffing and Co-curricular, Gerard Bunch. “Unstructured play is a known vector for grazes, insect bites and improvised gymnastics. Phones are a proven control that restores operational calm.”
“I value connection, but sustainable connection requires capacity. Phones provide the distraction that delivers me capacity.”
Independent policy experts have cautiously endorsed the trial. “International evidence shows a strong correlation between handset availability and the suppression of ‘Watch me!’ injuries,” said Dr Leonie Marr, Director at the Institute for Managed Play. “Our meta‑analysis suggests phones reduce the velocity of lunchtime by up to 30 per cent and stabilise staff wellbeing indicators.”
“This is a pragmatic, child‑centred step. If the metrics move the wrong way – if Band‑Aid usage drops but we see conflict increase – we will recalibrate."
“The pilot will report on three indicators: Yard‑Duty Injury Incidence Rate (YDIIR), Staff Conversational Load (SCL), and Parent Evening Tolerance Window (PETW). If successful, Woodleigh will consider a staged return to pre‑ban settings, accompanied by enhanced digital citizenship modules.”
“We’re not giving up on play, we’re right‑sizing it.”
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